afta all the things happened last week, i miss u so much! i wish u cud be here wif me. damn i miss u so much. i miss the way u try to comfort me. i know u hate to see me cry. but u know i am the "mata jambu" kan. u called me that since i was a little girl. sometimes i blame Him, for taking u away from me. but i know He loves u more than i do.
Pa, i met this 1 guy. He broke my HEART. He is a kind of guy where all the girls would fight for (not single but still available) . I was so dumb for letting myself fell for him. When i'm with him, i'm happy & blissful but i know it's not true love. Lucky me, God helped me Pa! everything was revealed last week. stupid him cuz he still wif his ego n didn't get the point. I hate to say that I still love him but hey, i deserve someone better than him.
Thanx to Sis P & Sis A. For bringing me there & sent me back home. Pa, they were good to me :) Both of them have a beautiful life. a steady job. Adore them so much.
Now, i heard that they are back together. I thought i heard that she said she doesn't want him back. But urm, She really deserve someone way better than him.
Funny, she said to me, "Don't dwell on worthless man like J".
But yup, they are. Congrats to him & her. Kahwin jgn lupa jemput.
Pa, see. i'm terribly fucked up without you kan? Bdosa ckp mcm ni but y did u leave me?? It's too soon ba! almost 4 years, but i still can't accept the fact that u are gone. Since the funeral, i haven't visit urs. I'm not ready. I really need u now. The one that used to be with me when i'm up & down.
"I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on likeI wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by
And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye"
Pa,
U are my grandpa.
U are my father.
U are my bestfriend.
still and will owez be.
No one can take that away from u. :'(
I Love You So Much.
I Miss You So Much.
I Need You So Much.
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be strong lat.. :(
ReplyDeletethanx mie :')
ReplyDeleteHowever deep the cut you got, we all got it. I've thought about all the second chances that people had been giving me. So I guess, everyone deserves it no matter what the circumstances is. Hey, coz we are only humans. We err.
ReplyDeleteTrust is like a glass. Once broken, no matter how hard you try to hold it together, you cannot remove the broken lines. I'll carry this for the rest of my life because I though I was the ONLY one being loved/love him.
I still go to bed hurt, get out of bed hurt. There are moments I want to break down thinking about his actions. But then again, we are only human, we err.
It would not be fair if I tell you I should be more hurt than all of you. Your hurt is equall to mine. Coz hey, we are only humans, we err, we've got feelings.
Despite all this, we have the capability to make choices. Choices that will not only affect yourself but people around you. Hey, we're only humans, we err but we can also make choices.
If I just walked out of this, I lose because I didn't try. I'll live with the question, "What if he will change for the better?" If I get hurt again, I'll move on happily, putting in mind that I have tried and didn't give up helping a broken soul.
As much as I want to tell you everyday to be strong, I have to also tell that to myself.
Mary, for whatver hurt I have caused you, I am truly sorry.
Touched...*Sob*sob
ReplyDelete