a msg to you up there.

hey, up there.. u hear me? i need u now. pls hear me out ya?


afta all the things happened last week, i miss u so much! i wish u cud be here wif me. damn i miss u so much. i miss the way u try to comfort me. i know u hate to see me cry. but u know i am the "mata jambu" kan. u called me that since i was a little girl. sometimes i blame Him, for taking u away from me. but i know He loves u more than i do. 


Pa, i met this 1 guy. He broke my HEART. He is a kind of guy where all the girls would fight for (not single but still available) . I was so dumb for letting myself fell for him. When i'm with him, i'm happy & blissful but i know it's not true love. Lucky me, God helped me Pa! everything was revealed last week. stupid him cuz he still wif his ego n didn't get the point. I hate to say that I still love him but hey, i deserve someone better than him.


Thanx to Sis P & Sis A. For bringing me there & sent me back home. Pa, they were good to me :) Both of them have a beautiful life. a steady job. Adore them so much.


Now, i heard that they are back together. I thought i heard that she said she doesn't want him back. But urm, She really deserve someone way better than him.


Funny, she said to me, "Don't dwell on worthless man like J".


But yup, they are. Congrats to him & her. Kahwin jgn lupa jemput.  


Pa, see. i'm terribly fucked up without you kan? Bdosa ckp mcm ni but y did u leave me?? It's too soon ba! almost 4 years, but i still can't accept the fact that u are gone. Since the funeral, i haven't visit urs. I'm not ready. I really need u now. The one that used to be with me when i'm up & down. 

"I never knew I could hurt like this

And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye"

Pa, 
U are my grandpa. 
U are my father. 
U are my bestfriend. 
still and will owez be. 
No one can take that away from u. :'( 


I Love You So Much.
I Miss You So Much.
I Need You So Much.