a msg to you up there.

hey, up there.. u hear me? i need u now. pls hear me out ya?


afta all the things happened last week, i miss u so much! i wish u cud be here wif me. damn i miss u so much. i miss the way u try to comfort me. i know u hate to see me cry. but u know i am the "mata jambu" kan. u called me that since i was a little girl. sometimes i blame Him, for taking u away from me. but i know He loves u more than i do. 


Pa, i met this 1 guy. He broke my HEART. He is a kind of guy where all the girls would fight for (not single but still available) . I was so dumb for letting myself fell for him. When i'm with him, i'm happy & blissful but i know it's not true love. Lucky me, God helped me Pa! everything was revealed last week. stupid him cuz he still wif his ego n didn't get the point. I hate to say that I still love him but hey, i deserve someone better than him.


Thanx to Sis P & Sis A. For bringing me there & sent me back home. Pa, they were good to me :) Both of them have a beautiful life. a steady job. Adore them so much.


Now, i heard that they are back together. I thought i heard that she said she doesn't want him back. But urm, She really deserve someone way better than him.


Funny, she said to me, "Don't dwell on worthless man like J".


But yup, they are. Congrats to him & her. Kahwin jgn lupa jemput.  


Pa, see. i'm terribly fucked up without you kan? Bdosa ckp mcm ni but y did u leave me?? It's too soon ba! almost 4 years, but i still can't accept the fact that u are gone. Since the funeral, i haven't visit urs. I'm not ready. I really need u now. The one that used to be with me when i'm up & down. 

"I never knew I could hurt like this

And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye"

Pa, 
U are my grandpa. 
U are my father. 
U are my bestfriend. 
still and will owez be. 
No one can take that away from u. :'( 


I Love You So Much.
I Miss You So Much.
I Need You So Much.

thank you

Thank you to you darling.

Whatever you said to me, it did open up my mind. about why do i have to say all the hatred things in here. Yup, I shud be a +ve thinking & one mature lady. Think all the positive ways. i shud be thankful that i have the package, i have the brain, i have dad & mom, i have my siblings & friends that support me. & be there for me the whole time.

I started with deleting some of the posts here in my blog.

If i really care about him, why do i have to do such things that might hurt him & lost his job, right? Tu la, emotional ja lbh time tu. lgpun kan that time, I just wanna share things happened around me ba, that's all. about the "one of a kind" lady, i admit that i hate her but because of she helped him a lot in his career, i'll just let it be. tahan2 ja. about me & him? for me to know, for you to find out. anything happened for a reason. if x, apa buli bt la kan. if ada, it's a bonus for me. & i promise I'll be good to u same like b4.

I'm sorry for everything that happened. I'm sorry if I hurt your feeling.
& I'm sorry if i lied. I have to. So that you & you will not hurt anymore. :'(

it's ok if i'm hurt. let the time heal me. once again. i'm a broken-hearted girl. :') thank you.
cheers~

RapSouL - Nobody (cover)

I love this wonder girls' nobody's cover from this group. caught this video in facebook, one of the friend posted it. so i just wanna share it on my blog. this group is so talented. They are local. They are Sabahan! am so proud wif u guys :)) <3>

Pesta Kaamatan - Runduk Tadau Tuaran 2010

Baino id tadau diti

Nokoimbulai ko kawagu

Songulun tondu tolundus

Ika no ih Unduk Ngadau


it was a great and meaningful experience i had when i participate this beauty pageant. it was my first time though. and i joined it because of my mom keep on asking me each and every year! "latt..p la ko ikut tu unduk ngadau ba...bila lg ko mo p try ni..limit umur 25thn tu..p la ko ikut.." every kaamatan she will say the same thing. adeh~ last2 drpd kena bising lagi, sa ikut ja la. kasi puas ati org tua kan. hehe.

thank you to everyone yg dtg, support, wish sa tu. tinggi btl ba harapan kamu tu. siou kio? bukan rezeki sa. yg penting sa x quit kan? hehe. 

so, here are some of the pictures taken on that day. :)

congrats to all the winners specially to Miss Ledesma Steven :)

against domestic violence!

While you SCREAM at your woman, 

there's a man wishing he could talk softly to her ear... 

While you HUMILIATE,OFFEND,and INSULT her,

there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how wonderful she is...

While you HURT your woman,

there's a man wishing he could make love to her...

While you make your woman CRY,

there's a man stealing smiles from her...

OMG! he's cute. but he's annoying!

currently i'm very addcited to the annoying orange. he makes me laughs out loud til my lungs wanna come out! shett~ ok, this is my fav video of him. hehe.

D'massive - cinta ini membunuhku

it hurts me so much!